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its gone. everything. my focus. its gone. I just got to a point where, I dunno, I just stopped caring about anything. I dont' want to play music anymore. I don't want to work anymore. I don't really want to live anymore. I am tired of living. I have been living for so long. I think I need to practice being dead. Or maybe I already am dead. The walls here sucked the last ounce of will power from me. I am a drone. I will never get out of here. I will be slaving to a keyboard and a computer screen for the rest of my godforsaken life. I am so tired. So tired of this. Waking up, and doing the same thing, every day. Sitting, and then more sitting. Typing, more staring at flashing lights. Meaningless conversations with mindless people. Endless toiling awaying and little progress towards anything real. .... I don't even care what spelling mistakes are on here. The wysiwyg stopped displaying the right colors ever since I got firefox 1.5. black on black, loads of fun . . I keep closing my eyes and imagining a different place to be, but I keep ending up right back here. I can't excape. I need to get away from all of this, away from everything. It's already broken my mind. What will go next??
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